Sunday, December 24, 2006

Casino Royale

Its been a while since I reviewed a movie. For those who have been waiting for me to do so, wait no more. For those who haven't, it's your turn to wait. It seems to me that I start every post by analysing a diverse group of people each of whom correspond to a segment of the populace that cares to drop into my site. Hmmm.. But I digress; on with it!

First off, the movie is unlike any 007 flick you've ever seen. James here is more intense and more interested in his final prize than any other Bond you've ever seen. In fact, he seems to bed a grand total of just 2 women in this - a shame by Bond standards. Yet, for some inexplicable reason, the movie seems to hold your interest in spite of the fact that there are less naked women and less gun fighting than the average action flick.
The new Bond girl is not great looking, in fact none of the women in CR look that good, but its the new Bond with his cold, blue eyes and witty sarcastic comments that make you want to watch the movie. Even though I wouldn't know a straight Ace from a triple Queens, the poker game is a bit interesting, although they could have explained it a bit more.
List of Ugly People in the Movie:

1. Bond girl Eva Green looks downright miserable from certain angles. But then, she looks worse from others.
2. Villian is super ugly. They oiled his hair with what was left over from Iraq's oil wells.
3. All Extras.

OK, thats it. I can't nitpick over this movie anymore.

Casino Royale:
() - 1 Ass for Eva Green.

Here are the reviews for the movies I have seen but I'm too scared to review for fear it'll cause me to blow a hole in my veins thus pumping out litres of blood that could otherwise be used to save millions of children in Somalia, not that I would ever give them my blood without being assured that it's going to the children and not to some blood thirsty (literally) bureaucrat who'll just keep the blood and pass on the empty container to children who will then proceed to curse me for not donating them enough blood, all the while I'm languishing in a hospital because I gave too much blood without caring for the consequences. There!

()()()()() - Royal Ass fest. Sucks way too much to be called a movie.

()()()()() - Terrible. Anti -hero is blind avenger. Madhavan with contact lenses. Rubbish.

Jillinu Oru Kaadhal:
()()() - Not as bad as it could have been, but then I don't see too many Tamil flicks.

Vettaiyady Villaiyadu:
()()()()() - HOPELESS. An overweight Kamal Hassan combats unreasonably foul - mouthed psychotic college students while falling in love with a Jyotika in a blink and miss role.

Thats all for now. Lets hope I get to see more crappy movies so I can come here and complain about them. Gee! What a life!