Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Yahoo Boo Hoo

Yahoo! has got to go. I mean it. It must leave this dimension and pursue economic glory in a parallel universe. One where Google does not exist. This is my advice to Yahoo's 'executives'.

Why you ask?

Reason 1:
Yahoo Mail Beta sucks. It uses more bandwidth than ever and provides a Microsoft Outlook Express look and feel that frankly reminds me of my Windows 3.11 days. It has its own share of login issues, mail selection problems and more.

Reason 2:
Yahoo Photos is closing down. Gee whiz! That's a new one! Yahoo decides to close shop on one of their premier features. This is what they have to say about it.

For some time now we’ve supported two great photo sharing services, Yahoo! Photos and Flickr. But even good things come to an end, and we’ve decided to focus all our efforts on Flickr – the award winning photo sharing site that Time Magazine has even called “completely addictive.”
The Bullshit Translator-
We're losing to Google's Picasa!!! Boo Hoo!! We don't know what to do!! So we're hoping systematically shutting down our services and leaving you in the lurch is the best alternative to spending time and money improving our services.
You may have used Yahoo! Photos in a few of other Yahoo! products, including favorites like Yahoo! Mail, Yahoo! Messenger, 360°, Mobile Web, etc. Unfortunately Yahoo! Photos features in these services will be phased out of these products in the coming months.
The Bullshit Translator-
If we go down, we're taking everybody with us.
Reason 3:
Yahoo 360 can suck ostrich eggs. I have never used it and I never will. I don't need to see my e-mail and weather report together.

Reason 4:
Yahoo's spam filter is so efficient that it expertly directs all spam to my Inbox. I regularly receive e-mails about prostate gland enlargement, breast augmentation and wait-for-it car rentals! The only thing I have done in Yahoo for the last 6 months is enter, select all my e-mail and mark as spam.

Reason 5:
They're still focusing on Upgrading their services when all they need to do is Improve them. Those who don't understand the difference can take a hike unless they're female and pretty in which case, I will be more than happy to give you a free ride home.

Reason 6:
I hate their anti-phishing filter. That stupid picture there that does not let me save my yahoo user name and password on my computer so it can be easily filled in. Stupid, stupid thing. In fact, it's so stupid, it's probably stuphid.

Reason 7:
Google kicks ass! All over the place. Whether its Gmail, Picasa or Orkut. All google services totally kick Yahoo's butt on Yahoo Mail Beta (LAME), Flickr (WHAT?!) or Gazzag (Jeezus!).

The only place Yahoo rocks is with their messenger. Y! Messenger kicks booty. They might as well shut down all Yahoo services and create a chat room only website.


1 gong ringer - 100 rupees
2 pooja bell ringers - 200 rupees
6 bell ringers - 600 rupees
70 devotees - 7000 rupees.

Finding out the godman in front of you works as a tailor on Mondays and Fridays - Priceless