Ban Stupidity First...

Its really aggravating to see cola drinkers like me punished while idiots go scot free. Is India blind? Or just stupid? Or are they led by a bespectacled Sardar? Hmmm... something to think about.

The other day I was reading this 'news' paper called Deccan Chronicle. In it were the rather fervent protests of the morons who think that banning a cola can cure India of AIDS. The front page of the paper carried a photograph of the 'protestor'. It was an uneducated, ignorant buffon who stood triumnphantly holding a bottle of Cola. How do I know he was uneducated and ignorant? The bottle of cola was being forced down the throat of a camel! Hell, even I have more brains than that and I can't divide 150 by 3 without using a calculator! This amounts to animal rights abuse. The camel doesn't want to drink it! Stop forcing it to, you jackass!

I seriously hope he didn't mean to say that even Camels don't want to drink the swill we call cola. Since when did camels become the new standard for testing edible foods? Camels don't drink coffee, they don't drink tea. They don't eat pizzas and pastries. You know what they eat? Grass! Loads and loads of grass! Obviously, they don't want to drink cola! So, not only is this guy practising animal abuse, he's stupid too! Throw him in jail first!

The next time, stupidity hit me like a sledgehammer to the nose, was when I picked up this sham of a newspaper again. A few days later, in the supplement, the editors decided to print some information about how possessive boyfriends butcher their girlfriends. The column was substantiated with an 'expert' opinion. I use the term expert here loosely, since they don't amount to anything more than unemployed dorks. The 'expert' here actually tries to help girls spot when their boyfriend becomes possessive. Here's an excerpt of his advice, typed out for free by yours truly for the sole purpose of geting this quack in jail and buggered for life. 'If you're boyfriend starts acting out of character, somethings wrong'. No shit Sherlock! You don't say! You mean that calling up at 12 midnight is NOT normal? Oh my god, I am a grown woman with a boyfriend and the apparent power to read, and yet cannot figure out that my boyfriends gone off his rocker just because he called me at night to find out where I am or tries to know all my friends. Thank you, Dr. Whats-his-name, I salute your endless supply of needless nonsense.

Please. These are the guys that take India down from the gutter into the rocky layer below the city. These are the intelligential sub-strata of society. They should have an IQ test for anyone over the age of 5 and those who failed, automatically get guillotined.

I say we ban stupidity first. Might give me time to stock up on cola. Idiots.